Stimulating A Woman To Orgasm
So often people will start having sex with the knowledge that they are going to enjoy intercourse as a conclusion.
But on other occasions, the desire for sexual intercourse will only come about because it's a consequence of increased desire caused by foreplay or kissing.
Naturally enough, as a couple get to know each other better, they'll learn which aspects of their partner's behavior signal desire for sex, and will be able to respond accordingly, accepting the invitation implicit in their partner's behavior for sexual contact, or turning it down when they feel able to refuse sexual connection and contact.
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Certainly being able to refuse an invitation to sexual union is a vital part of any good relationship.
Now of course, women tend to be more delicate and sensitive around sexual matters than men, and certainly need to feel a desire for intercourse before it's an attractive proposition (unless they're indulging in what might be termed a "mercy fuck" done just for their man's pleasure).
Because of this difference between the sexes, it's probably useful for men to be sensitive and indirect in their sexual advances and approaches to their partner, rather than just exposing their body or asking directly sex.
And of course every invitation to sex can be refused: we don't all feel like having sex all the time, and it's a difficult situation in a relationship where partners feel they can't turn down an invitation to sex.
This should be something that is clearly discussed and understood between the partners. Furthermore, women often like to cuddle, or have close intimate connection with their partners – men tend to interpret this as an invitation to sex, a tendency which women find irritating!
The Progress Of Intercourse
There are several stages to intercourse, as you're probably well aware, consisting of: 1, foreplay, 2, penetration, 3, thrusting, 4, orgasm, and 5, after play.
Now, the length of each phase of intercourse depends very much on each couple's preferences and habits, but it's still important to be able to recognize when one phase has ended and the next can begin – particularly around penetration.
And foreplay is often necessary for a woman to feel ready for intercourse, and even for the couple to become aware of mutual desire.
But the fact of the matter is that despite men's urgency for penetration, there's no need to rush the act of penetration , and there's certainly no need to assume that it must come early in the process of lovemaking.
Indeed, a woman can require anywhere from a few moments to an hour of intimate connection and caressing, kissing and fondling before she's ready for intercourse. This contrasts markedly with the man's readiness! (Although some men need "turning on" as well.)
It behoves any man who wants a good sexual relationship, to take care to stimulate a woman's entire body, as well as her mind, to ensure that he enjoys penetration and intercourse as much as she does.
This is because only a well lubricated vagina give satisfactory pleasure to both partners, and a woman must be aroused both mentally and physically before she's ready for penetration.
Sex is much better when a woman gives herself completely to a man both emotionally and physically, and while she may be ready physically, as demonstrated by lubrication of the vagina, she may well not be ready emotionally for penetration.
In which case the act of intercourse lacks pleasure for her and satisfaction for the man.
The essence of the woman's mental readiness has been described as relaxation. In other words she is not just unafraid of sex, but is actually happy to enter into the intercourse experience with her man.
To be relaxed, it's important that the
woman feels no time constraints, that she is familiar and relaxed
with her man, and that he offers her gentle and loving caresses,
with his warm strong body pressed up against her.
All parts woman's body can become
extremely sensitive during love play – including the lips, the
breasts and all the multifarious curves and folds, and sensitive and playful
lovemaking which includes her body will prepare her in every way for the experience of
In any event, experienced or not, the best way to penetrate a woman is not with one swift movement, but with steady gentle pressure, and plenty of lubricant if the woman's own natural lubricant is deficient.
Of course penetration is very satisfying for the man, but it can be much less so for the woman, particularly when her sexual sensation is centered in the clitoris. A caring man will take some attention and time to ensure that he is able to move as he thrusts into his partner in such a way as to stimulate the general area of her clitoris.
If a woman is unable to reach orgasm in any other way, then a very good plan is for the man to stimulate her clitoris before he enters her, perhaps even bringing her to orgasm so that she's had her orgasmic pleasure and can then enjoy the sensation being penetrated in the afterglow of her orgasm.
Naturally enough, it's down to every couple to experiment with sexual pleasure to find out exactly what they need and like.
Thrusting, again, is a personal preference, or rather, a preference for a couple to discover – that is to say the pressure, the rhythm, or the combination of touch and stroke that best prepares both man and woman for complete pleasure during intercourse.
So experimentation and communication are clearly very necessary: for example, if the penis lies low in the vulva as the man thrusts, it's unlikely to stimulate the woman's clitoris, so the man might care to take a sex position that allows him to move upwards and forwards, so that his thrusting stimulates the area around the clitoris.
An alternative way of stimulating the woman satisfactorily is for her to go on top during lovemaking so that she can control the angle and orientation of the man's thrusting, thereby providing her with more satisfaction.
Updated: June 3 2016