Stimulating A Woman To Orgasm
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Suggestions that might help a man bring a woman to orgasm
Obviously stimulating a woman's vulva is the easiest way to bring her to orgasm.
The atmosphere is incredibly important for a woman, and a safe space which is decorated in a way that honors her intimate feminine side will automatically relax and make it more likely that a man will know how to make a woman come - check this out here.
This means it's a good idea to use scented oils, flowers, sensuous objects and music to stimulate her emotions and make her relaxed. The more she can relax without the pressure of worrying about what's happening outside the room, the more likely she is to be able to achieve orgasm.
This is a very good form of safe sex and it's an excellent way for a couple to build intimacy and trust, without the pressure of sexual activity or the expectation of orgasm. During this process there is a rather touching and connecting exchange of energy at the heart level, as well as potentially an exchange of energy at the genital level.
It's very bonding and can really bring a couple who lost touch with each other back together.
So the stimulation begins with the woman laying on her back with pillows under her head so that she is very comfortable and she's able to see what's going on. If a pillow is placed under a hips it may give the man greater access to her genitals.
If she opens her legs slightly with her knees bent, perhaps supporting them on pillows if this position is a strain on her hips, then her partner will be able to pleasure her without worrying about how he's going to stimulate different parts of her body.
And he begins by connecting with his partner through deep breathing exercises and possibly eye gazing. In fact is a very good idea for the couple to start by laying down together on their sides and synchronizing their breathing.
This will naturally encourage their energies to synchronize and their Chakras to harmonize. It will also encourage intimacy and a feeling of connection.
So the man begins by pouring gently warmed oil such as almond oil or avocado oil onto his partner's legs and gently stroking them, working the tissue and muscle as deeply as she feels comfortable with.
It should be a slow and gentle process so that tension is released, and any knots where the muscles are particularly tense, can be manipulated individually to produce greater relaxation.
It's this level of physical stimulation which encourages a woman to relax even more and opens her up to the forthcoming more intimate touch on her genitals.
It's very important indeed that the man who is stimulating her doesn't move directly to either her vulva or her breasts, because women in general need to feel connected to their body in a more general sense before they can comfortably and confidently move into receiving genital stimulation.
This of course is the opposite of how men tend to see sex, and so this slowing down process of connecting through sensual stimulation can be helpful in changing the way that a man approaches his lovemaking.
The longer he takes to become aroused the more satisfying will be his climax; the same is certainly true of his female partner (except possibly on the few occasions where she know she wants a "quickie" and that's going to satisfy her at that time).
It's up to the man to judge when the time is right to pour a small quantity of oil onto the lips of his partner's vulva, using an amount of oil which is judged pretty well so that it's a pleasurable experience for her to receive the oil without it dripping into her vagina, while he has enough to be able to stimulate her inner and outer lips with well lubricated finger tips.
There are endless possible moves that the man can make at this stage of the stimulation: he can gently rotate or squeeze the outer and inner lips of her vulva between his finger and thumb, or he can slide his fingers and thumb up and down the full-length of her lips or her vulva.
He can stimulate the whole mound of her genitalia, and he can tease her by moving away onto her thighs and then approaching her vulva, stimulating all the way down to her perineum and then back up again.
Obviously it's up to the man to come up with moves to satisfy his partner, but she must give feedback about what she likes and doesn't like, for any dissatisfaction and irritation that she doesn't express will seriously interrupt her progress towards relaxation or orgasm if that is desired.
Talking should always be at a minimum, and both partners need to consciously direct their attention to the physical sensations that they are experiencing.
If the man is able to focus on sensations under his fingertips, perhaps even directing his sexual energy up from his balls, through his body and down his arms, he may well be able to make his partner even more aroused and she otherwise would be.
She too must focus on she is experiencing, without allowing her attention to drift off; yet at the same time, if her attention does drift off, she must be gentle with herself as she brings it back to the physical stimulation she is receiving. It's quite normal for people to "zone in" and "zone out" during this process of caressing and stroking.
If she's given him the okay to stimulate her vagina, then he can slip his finger inside and gently rub her G spot.
As most men will know, the majority of women do not like a direct touch to their clitoris unless they are highly aroused. Usually a woman can tolerate more pressure on her clitoris the more aroused she is.
This means that it's much more likely to be satisfying for her if the man rubs and strokes around her clitoris than directly on it.
Another possibility is to move the clitoral hood backwards and forwards over the glans of her clitoris. Again, the man needs to try a variety of strokes, clockwise, counterclockwise, squeezing, stroking, rolling.... All the time receiving feedback from his partner about what's giving her the greatest pleasure.
However, you should also bear in mind that this is not directly intended to make the woman orgasm – that may happen, but it's not the objective. The objective is sensual pleasure. Long slow strokes are likely to produce greater pleasure than short fast ones.
Where one is particularly aroused she may begin to move her hips in a slow motion that resembles thrusting of intercourse. At this point, or perhaps by testing out her reaction as he probes her vulva with a fingertip, the man can gently slip one thing get inside his partner and explore and stroke the inside of her vagina.
He can move his finger backwards and forwards, or side to side, or around in a circle. If the woman decides that she wants to go for orgasm, then combining vaginal and clitoral stimulation is likely to lead to the most satisfying and intense orgasm.
A particularly good movement is to sweep a finger backwards and forwards across the roof of the vagina as the woman lays on her back, although this needs to be well lubricated.
To stimulate the G spot directly, a man can make a crooked come-hither gesture with his finger which will touch the area of engorged smooth tissue on the roof of the vagina feels distinctly different to the rest of the vaginal barrel.
If this area of tissue is strongly ridged, in means the woman is not very aroused and needs more clitoral stimulation before the man goes back to vaginal stimulation.
A woman unused to this sensation may believe that she needs to you go to the toilet to pass water, so it's always a good idea to ensure that the bladder is empty before the session begins.
Such a concern will certainly rapidly lower a woman's sexual arousal and probably prevent he from getting to orgasm. It's a combination of gentleness and firmness that most women find exciting, combined with perhaps a fingertip or tongue tip on the clitoris.
It is most unlikely that a man can control a woman's g spot responses with his penis unless he has learned ways for men to enjoy complete control of their ejaculation.
It's a classic stimulation position: one or two fingers inside, some on the clitoris, and little finger on the anus to provide added stimulation if the woman likes that.
It's also possible for a man with one hand in this position to use his other hand to stimulate the wider areas of a woman's pelvis, thighs and buttocks: if the initial period of whole-body stimulation was long enough, then by this point a woman should be extremely aroused and ready to reach orgasm.
A man whose tune into his partner will know when to increase the speed and pressure of his movements - if he's thrusting a finger in and out of her as he stimulates her clitoris then it's vitally important to use adequate quantities of lubricant for intercourse - so that his partner reaches orgasm.
If she's going to enjoy a vaginal orgasm the mouth of vagina will clamp around his finger: this is a sure sign that orgasm is not far off, and he needs to increase speed and pressure the stimulation to tip over into orgasm.
As the woman comes, the man can continue providing internal and external stimulation until she tells him to stop; and because the woman's arousal will drop slowly over quite a long period of time, it's possible to take her back into an orgasmic experience later the same day.
There is an excellent program called Orgasm Arts which shows you how to reach orgasm easily; there is also lots of advice on sexual techniques which promote orgasm here.
After orgasm a couple need to cuddle and connect together, and the intimacy and connection that they feel will serve to reinforce their relationship.
Updated: January 10 2019