What Happens During Orgasm?
In particular, this has implications for couples who wish to achieve female orgasm during intercourse, because the clitoris sustains very little stimulation during male thrusting.
Unless, that is, the couple adjust their positions so that the man can stimulate the woman's clitoris manually or they use the coital alignment technique, which is designed to provide additional pressure on the clitoris during intercourse.
Distinct similarities exist between male and female responses during sexual arousal: these include the buildup of tension in the muscles, an increase in heart rate and blood pressure, a faster rate of respiration, and sex flush that can cover some or all of the chest.
For a man, orgasm occurs when the tension that has developed in his body combines with the nervous input from stimulation of his penis to produce a level of nervous system arousal sufficiently intense to trigger the ejaculatory response.
Just before he ejaculates, there are rhythmic contractions of the muscles of his pelvis, which include the muscles around the prostate gland, and those around his internal sexual organs such as the seminal vesicles and the epididymes.
Semen is emitted into the base of the penis, then ejaculated forcefully through contractions of the pelvic musculature. The initial contractions are usually more powerful than the subsequent ones, but there may be no connection between the strength of the contractions and the pleasure that the man experiences.
In women, orgasm is more elusive and harder to attain, even when they have achieved a high level of sexual arousal.
Sometimes this is because a woman has been distracted by some external stimulus such as the doorbell or noises outside the bedroom.
On other occasions it's because her partner hasn't achieved the rhythmic level of continuous stimulation to her clitoris necessary for orgasm to occur; in some cases it's simply because a woman isn't aroused enough to get her to the level of sexual arousal at which she can tip into orgasm.
Putting effort into reaching orgasm can be very unhelpful for a woman – it's a common experience for women to find the more they try to reach orgasm, the more elusive it becomes. It's almost like orgasm arrives by a process of relaxing into the sensations and allowing it to happen actually.
As we've mentioned, the majority of women are unable to reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone, at least during sexual intercourse.
When a man is skilled in stimulating a woman's G spot with his fingers (or, if he has considerable staying power, with his erect penis rubbing on her G spot during intercourse), he can take a woman to a very different kind of orgasm - the G spot or vaginal orgasm which we shall discuss later on this website.
Of course, there's no reason why woman who knows her body intimately can't do this for herself, although G spot orgasms tend to be the product of a relationship with a partner where a woman opens up not just physically to him (or her), but also emotionally and perhaps spiritually.
During the course of a normal orgasm, women often report that they experience warmth in the pelvis, followed by intense sensations of throbbing muscles in the pelvic and vaginal region. At its peak this tension suddenly explodes into rhythmic contractions around the anus, the vagina, and the uterus.
Both men and women tend to lose control over their voluntary muscles during orgasm, so that their bodies may contract rhythmically or spasmodically, they may utter unintelligible cries, and they may lose control of their facial expressions.
These are involuntary contractions in the musculature of the body whose function seems to be to release the blood which has engorged the pelvic region during the buildup to arousal. In both men and women if orgasmic release does not take place the sensations of engorgement in the pelvic region can be both uncomfortable and emotionally disappointing.
It's a truism that many women fake orgasm because they want to please their man.
It's a disappointing indication of a lack of trust within a relationship, or perhaps a sign that a man's ego is too sensitive for him to face the fact that he's not going to be able to bring a woman to orgasm through intercourse.
The problem is that once a woman has started faking orgasm it's extremely hard for her to admit that she's been doing so: so the golden rule is – never fake it.
Honest and open communication is a far better route to achieving sexual satisfaction for both partners.
All that is necessary is that the woman should be able to explain what turns her on, and what she needs to get climax, and the man should then be able to help her get there.
If the man needs to last longer in bed he can get the appropriate information here: techniques to control premature ejaculation - a complete resource for men who come quickly.
Sometimes the resolution phase in woman is very short, and this means that a woman may be capable of achieving multiple orgasms within a single session of sexual play.
(Although it's conventionally said that men are incapable of multiple orgasm, it is possible for men to learn to separate orgasm and ejaculation, and once they've done so, they are able to experience multiple orgasms without ejaculation.)
It seems that the woman's orgasmic capacity is potentially almost unlimited, but there's a problem in making that statement - it can cause women to feel pressured to perform sexually in a way that mirrors the experience of men, too often felt pressured to perform in satisfying woman.
My own observation is that women who orgasm powerfully and for a prolonged period of time are much less likely to want or need multiple orgasms within one session of sex.
What this points to is a long slow buildup of arousal and a powerful climax induced by the right type of stimulation at the right time; knowing your partner intimately can be a real bonus, and it's one of the reasons why casual relationships may not be as satisfying as long-term relationships.
Updated: June 3 2016