Making Love and Achieving Orgasm In Sex
Female Sexual Anatomy
What Makes A Woman Orgasm?
As there are normal variations in breast size and shape, so there are differences in the vulva. This is the anatomical term for woman's external genital organs. The internal organs - the uterus or womb, the ovaries and Fallopian tubes - are there for procreative purposes as distinct from sexual pleasure.
There is more ignorance about the structure of the vulva than about the corresponding male organs. Yet it is through stimulation of her external genitalia that a woman primarily experiences sexual desire and arousal.
Viewed sideways on, the vulva looks rather like a mouth. It has two sets of lips, an outer one (labia majora) and an inner set (labia minora) which closes on the opening of the vagina.
Above the vagina is the opening of the urinary tract and above this is a small and extremely sensitive organ, the clitoris. The head of the clitoris is particularly sensitive and responsive to stimulation during sexual intercourse or masturbation.
The clitoris is the only organ in the human body with no function other than to provide sexual and sensual pleasure.
In young girls and virgins the outer lips touch, protecting the parts between them. The outer lips end in a triangular bone, poetically called the mons veneris or mount of Venus, which becomes covered with hair during puberty.
The inner lips are small and narrow and form a ridge just below the clitoris. They are rich in highly sensitive nerve endings, and their stimulation can produce intense sexual feelings.
Connecting the internal and external organs is a passage known as the vagina. The word comes from the Latin for "sheath," which aptly describes its important function. Although the average vagina is about 3 inches long, it has a great capacity for expansion and when required can accept a phallus of any length and width.
The walls are lined with soft corrugated tissue. The lower part of the womb projects down into the upper end of the vagina and can be felt as a little hard knob of tissue.
This is known as the cervix, the neck of the womb, and although there is some doubt as to whether or not it is sensitive, it plays an important function during intercourse in stimulating the tip of the penis.
Just inside the vagina is the hymen, sometimes known as the maidenhead or virgin's veil. In young girls this thin, half-moon-shaped membrane partially closes the vaginal canal.
There is a great deal of misunderstanding about the hymen. It is not, for example, an impenetrable barrier, but porous to allow menstrual blood to flow through. It used to be regarded as proof of virginity, and in many cultures still is, but this is not necessarily true.
Often it is torn during exercise or sports such as horseback-riding or cycling, it can be torn. Occasionally it is ruptured during a woman's first sexual experience. There are cases of extremely tough hymens impossible to penetrate during intercourse, but these can be removed by a minor surgical operation.
The Bartholin's glands were once thought to be responsible for vaginal lubrication, but it is now clear that a woman's natural lubrication for intercourse is secreted by the walls of the vagina, which are said to "sweat" lubricating fluid during sexual arousal.
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In recent years, a deeper understanding of premature ejaculation has become the key to differentiating lifelong premature ejaculation from other forms of premature ejaculation (notably acquired premature ejaculation).
Lifelong premature ejaculation pertains to an actual physical dysfunction with a partner. Conversely, acquired premature ejaculation only appears years after the first sexual act.
It's also important to make a distinction between premature and delayed ejaculation since the latter is completely different (it's when a man cannot ejaculate during intercourse).
This can be just as disruptive to sexual harmony. Dealing with issues around delayed ejaculation is vital for men and women who want good satisfying intercourse.
For men, of course, one of the inevitable problems with age is declining sexual function, which can manifest in a variety of ways; one of them is low sexual desire, another the inability to ejaculate (a form of delayed ejaculation), and also, of course, there may be more frequent urination due to benign enlargement of the prostate - also called BPH or benign prostatic hyperplasia.
There's another term to take account of: "premature-like ejaculatory dysfunction". This refers to men who ejaculate too quickly during sexual intercourse, but who can control their ejaculation with a reasonable level of success at other times.
Researchers have devised this paradigm because the suggestion has been made that the incidence of actual dysfunctional premature ejaculation is only approximately 20 percent in the wider male population.
But! My clinical interaction over several years with men has conclusively demonstrated to me that it affects at least 50 percent of the male population. This will, of course, make it very difficult for a man to make a woman come. Certain sex positions can help - a fact which you can check out below.
Now, the coital alignment technique may also help with sexual pleasure - by enabling a woman to reach orgasm during intercourse.
Here's another video on the coital alignment technique
Obstacles to a great relationship
A hurdle in claiming that premature ejaculation affects half the population is that of finding a satisfactory conventional definition. Stringent criteria are difficult to establish.
What, for example, is a standard duration of intercourse? Well, it turns out that the average duration of intercourse is around 4.5 minutes. Now, the question is - will that please a woman?
Who knows? What each couple finds acceptable in bed is dependent on what the couple want from each other in terms of satisfying the woman in bed and pleasing the man.
Every couple who are sexually active have an arbitrary duration that satisfies them. And further, a so-called case of premature ejaculation seems meaningless if the couple in question are quite happy with the sexual aspects of their sexual relationship.
A workable definition must somehow refer to conflicts due to the male partnerís inability to make love with ejaculation control.
And conflict may be festering, and sexual compatibility may become the focus of this dissatisfaction. However, if a couple consistently achieve female orgasm before intercourse, the effect of premature ejaculation is much more manageable.
We are left with the inevitable question of the purely scientific viewpoint and how can sex therapy professional discriminate between a person who physically is unable to withhold his ejaculation and one who just lacks a degree of control?
Perhaps the solution lies in evaluation of the clinical effects of sexual tension, so that if the partners are extremely unhappy some kind of information about sexual techniques can help a woman to achieve orgasm and alleviate the emotional discomfort.
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Updated: January 17, 2017